Using the right 'Whatever', whatever the occasion

One of the things to remember, when you're searching for help and guidance with your Spanish, is that nobody knows Spanish, like the Spanish.
So, rather than just searching in English, try searching in Spanish.

I recently came across this excellent Blog posting, by Alberto Bustos on the subject of 'Cualquiera' , and its plural, which is NOT 'Cualquieras' but 'Cualesquiera'
View Alberto's Blog

I won't try and pass his work off as my own, but I appreciate that not everyone will be able to read and understand his blog in Spanish, so I'll translate the important parts into English here.

Firstly, let's translate the word. It equates with 'any', or 'whatever/whichever' in English.
For instance,
'Puedes practicar tu Español en cualquier bar en España'
'You can practice your Spanish in any bar in Spain'

It looks simple enough but, as Alberto explains, people become confused as there are three versions of the word, 'cualquiera', 'cualquier' and 'cualesquiera' and knowing which one to use when is important.

Alberto begins by saying that the first thing to do, to determine the correct form, is to decide whether it is accompanied by a noun, or not.
Secondly, if there is a noun, we need to identify whether 'Cualquier(a)' goes before, or after the noun, and whether it is singular or plural.

If it goes before the noun, and the noun is singular, then we will always use 'cualquier' whether the noun be masculine or feminine (Hey! look at that. I just used the Subjunctive, in English 'whether it be . . . ')
The example Alberto uses is
(1) [...] el [teléfono] móvil es el mejor disfraz, el que te permite disimular cualquier cosa, camuflar cualquier sitio, el que hace que el enemigo no sepa dónde mirar cuando te está buscando [¿Quién es Juan? / e-life, acceso: 26-4-2008]

(The mobile phone is the best disguise, which permits you to hide any thing, camouflage any place, which means that the enemy doesn't know where to look when he's searching for you)

If it goes after the noun, then we would always use 'Cualquiera', again irrespective of the gender of the noun.
Example:
(2) Trabaja en una oficina cualquiera, en un polígono cualquiera [Ideario Personal sin Censuras, acceso: 26-4-2008]

(Works in any office, in any area)

'Cualesquiera' is the plural form, used after a noun. The gender, again, is irrelevant.
(3) Una mañana cualquiera, en un tren cualquiera, unos ojos cualesquiera [Más de Cien Mentiras, acceso: 27-4-2008]

(Any morning, on any train, any eyes)

This example also shows a contrast with the singular version.

There's also the form 'Cualesquier', which can be used before the noun but, in practice, it's rarely seen as, rather than saying, for example 'Cualesquier problemas', we'd just use the singular 'Cualquier problema'

Finally, if there is no noun in your construction, you can only use 'Cualquiera' or 'Cualesquiera', depending on whether you are talking in the singular or the plural.
Examples:
(4) Como sabe cualquiera, en un principio todos los elfos eran blancos: formas blancuzcas de niebla, espíritus claros [Escritos e ideas, acceso: 27-4-2008]

(As anyone knows, in the beginning, all elves were white: misty white shapes, bright spirits)

(5) Cualesquiera que sean su cuna o ascendencia común, lo cierto es que en la época del profeta Mahoma [...] existían varios dialectos entre las tribus de la Península Arábiga [Silvia Peralta Morillo, acceso: 27-4-2008 (texto eliminado de la web a 8-12-2009)]
 (Whatever may be their origin, or common ancestry, it is certain that, in the time of the prophet Mohammed, there existed various dialects among the tribes of the Arab Peninsula)

Alberto finishes his brilliant post with an example of how 'Cualquier' is used.
'Con esto debería quedar resuelta cualquier duda que pudiera surgir sobre el uso de cualquiera, pero, de todas formas, lo mejor que puedes hacer para afianzar estos conocimientos es resolver unos ejercicios.'
Which translates as
'With this you can resolve any doubts which might arise over the use of 'cualquiera' but, in any case, the best you can do to reinforce this knowledge is to solve some exercises.'

The link takes you to a page if exercises which, if you've read the explanations carefully, you should be able to solve with ease.
There's also a link to the solutions, so you can see how you did.

I'd also recommend following Alberto on Google+, for some reading practice, and some excellent Grammar tips.

¡Que esto les sirva!

A descriptive way to remember gender

Getting back to basics, you'll probably remember some of the rough-and-ready rules that you learnt, to remind you how to use the correct gender for certain nouns.

Let's do a quick recap:

If it ends in 'o', it's masculine
If it ends in 'a', it's feminine
If it ends in 'ción' it's feminine
If it ends in 'umbre', it's feminine
If it ends in 'ama' it's masculine

You probably know a few more, but you will certainly have found that, while they're useful guidelines, they're not always right.

How about 'la mano'?
and 'Mama' ends in 'ama' but she's not (usually) masculine.

There are other groups of words, too, which share an ending, but seem to have no reason or rhyme to their gender
'el coche'
'la leche'

'la mente'
'la fuente'
'el puente'
'el diente'

So how do you remember the gender?

Thankfully, there's a trick you can use, which works quite well in Spanish, simply because most adjectives must 'agree' with the gender of the noun they describe.

So, if you can remember a combination of a noun and an adjective, it makes it a lot easier to remember the gender of the noun.

Let's take an example.
How about 'nube'? (cloud)
There's no handy rule you can apply to remind you of the gender but I always remember it with the phrase 'las nubes negras'
This just happens to be a phrase from a Gloria Estefan song 'Te tengo a ti' (aren't I always saying music is a great learning tool?) but I won't ever forget that 'nube' is a feminine noun

Another example 'torre'.
My key phrase here is 'las torres gemelas' (the twin towers)
Now, whether that reminds you of the World Trade Center, or the second book of 'Lord of the Rings' is immaterial, but it reminds me that 'torre' is another feminine noun.

So, looking back at the words I mentioned earlier, how about
'manos limpias' (clean hands)
'un coche rojo' ( a red car)
'leche fría' (cold milk)
'una mente aguda' ( a sharp mind)
'una fuente escondida' ( a hidden source)
'un puente largo' ( a long bridge)
'dientes blancos' (white teeth)

So, over to you.
Make a short list of problem nouns and have a go at creating some brief descriptive phrases to remind you of their gender.
I hope you find it useful.

¡Hasta la próxima!

Time to say goodbye

Now, don't panic.
The title doesn't mean I'm winding up the Blog.

Here's a puzzle for you.
I call this picture 'Anna says goodbye to her sister'

 

So tell me, which of the women is Anna, the one on the train, or the one left behind?

 

In English, there's no way of knowing.

There's a Spanish verb 'despedir', which means 'to say goodbye'
You may have heard of a 'despedida' or Farewell Party?

We could say 'Ellas se despiden', which simply means 'they say goodbye to each other', but that's no more informative than the English version.

Ah, but Spanish is cleverer than that  ;¬)

Consider 'Anna despide a su hermana'
and 'Anna se despide de su Hermana'

You might have had to look twice to see the difference.

Here's the clever part
'Anna despide A su hermana' means 'Anna says goodbye to her sister' but carries the implicit meaning that her sister is the one who is going away, while Anna remains.

'Anna se despide DE su hermana' has the same literal translation but implies the opposite situation, Anna is gong on the train, while her sister remains behind.

I freely admit, it took me quite a while to get a grip on this one, and I frequently mixed them up, until I came up with a little rhyme to jog my memory

'Yo despido A alguien que se VA' - 'I say goodbye to someone who is leaving' (which means I'm staying)
You only have to remember the meaning of one of the uses, to remember both, after all.

One final word, if you use the verb 'despedir' in its non-reflexive form, the common meaning is to fire, or lay-off someone.
e.g. 'le despidieron por ser constantemente tarde' - 'they sacked him for being constantly late',
rather than
'Le despidieron a él por última vez' - 'they said goodbye to him for the last time'

So, until next time 'tengo que despedirme de ustedes' (me voy)

The Owl is a real Nag - welcome to Duolingo

Most online learning sites will tell you the same thing - little and often is best.
Better to do a half-hour of Spanish practise per day, than try and do three hours in one day, in an attempt to catch up.

I recently came across a site, which gives you just that, and more, as it's available on your PC, through whichever browser you use, and also as a mobile app.

The website is www.duolingo.com, where you can choose between Spanish, French, Italian, German and Portuguese ( or learn to speak English in one of ten other languages)

To be honest, I've not looked closely at the very basic sections, as the site allows you to 'Test in' and makes an assessment of your current level of fluency, and you begin from there.
So far I can't say I've learnt anything new, as I think it rated me a little low, but where Duolingo wins is as a fantastic practice and refresher tool.

I personally use the app on my Android device but, when you log in, your performance is saved so you always start where you left off, even if you switch from PC to Tablet to smartphone and back.

Duolingo divides the language up into skill areas such as groups of nouns(e.g.Family,Animals,Colours etc), conjunctions, tenses, adjectives, adverbs, object pronouns etc.

A new skill will appear in your list of choices as greyed-out, if you haven't attempted it  yet.
Once you've mastered it, it turns orange (gold?)
The interesting part is what happens after that.

Although you can continue to plough through the subjects, increasing your 'Level' (part of the 'gameification' of learning which Duolingo uses) skills which you have learned previously lose 'Strength' and you have to keep revisiting them and retesting to bring them back to 'Gold' status
In the image to the left, you can see grey untried skills at the bottom, a gold completed skill on the fourth line, and other skills in various stages of 'Strength' in different colours.

This process of reinforcing skills which you have already mastered, to ensures that you don't forget the basics, while accumulating new skills, is one of the features which makes Duolingo different from some other applications.

So, let's take a look at some of the exercises in Duolingo.
1) Translate Spanish to English

2)Translate English to Spanish

3) Type what you hear - good listening practice

4)Mark ALL correct translations - increases awareness of multiple persons and tenses

5)Select the missing word

There's also a feature which I've not seen in other comparable apps - the ability to speak into your microphone, and have the software assess your pronunciation

Now, it has to be said, there's quite a lot of leeway here. I did manage to make it reject several efforts by deliberately mispronouncing words, but it's quite forgiving, but a nice feature nonetheless.

 

There are also other exercises which ask you to type in words, to match a picture - simple vocabulary, and a feature I haven't explored much, an opportunity to contribute to the translation of online resources such as Wikipedia.

This helps build your confidence, as it's always aimed at your current skill level, but it's a way of giving something back, while you're learning, which reminds me . . I've left the greatest feature of Duolingo until last  . . . .

 

Access to both the website and the application for your mobile device is absolutely FREE!!

 

So, I'm not saying Duolingo will teach you Spanish from scratch although, looking at some of the basic pages, it's not half bad but, if you want a regularly daily dose of Spanish, to help polish up your vocabulary and grammar, and build confidence, that won't take up too much of your day ( a typical session only consists of 20 questions) then look no further than Duolingo.

I personally use it every day.

 

Finally, one caveat.

The mobile app has a built in 'Nag' feature, which reminds you to practice each day, either by email, or by sounding (typically) your 'incoming text' alert.

This is OK as far as it goes but, the last time I got an alert was 26 and a half hours after my previous session (24hrs, wait a bit, then remind you)

Unfortunately, I'd done my previous session at 10p.m. so I was awoken, rather annoyed, at 00:30 by the nagging Duolingo Owl reminding me to practice my Spanish.

So, be warned, practice early, or turn the reminders OFF!

 

In any case, make the most of this great free product.

 

 

 

 

 

Would have, could have, should have

¡Felíz año nuevo! and welcome to my first post of 2014.

Let's kick the new year off with a little puzzle.
Spot the odd man out.

a) I have done it
b) I would have done it
c) I could have done it

Got it yet?
How about a clue?
One of them will not translate exactly into Spanish
Another?
Two of the phrases will end with a past participle, while the other will end in an infinitive.

O.K. it's c)
Here's the reason.

'I have done it' translates as 'lo he hecho', ending in the past participle of the verb 'to do', just as in English, with 'done'

'I would have done it' is 'lo habría hecho', where we use the verb 'haber', in conditional, for 'would have' and end with the past participle of 'hacer'

When you get to 'I could have done it' things come unstuck.
'Could have' is'había podido' and you CANNOT say 'lo había podido hecho'

The issue lies with 'could'.
Even in English, there is no verb 'to can'.
The verb is 'to be able'
So, in Spanish, as I've mentioned in a previous post, the only way to say 'could' is to say 'would be able'

Now, if you do that to our phrase in English, you have to make a significant change to the structure, because you can't say 'I would have been able to DONE it'  so you say 'I would have been able TO DO it'
So, all of a sudden, our sentence doesn't end in a past participle, it ends in an infinitive.
And THAT'S how it translates into Spanish.
'Lo había podido hacer' or 'Había podido hacerlo', which I think sounds better.

Another example of a verb which doesn't behave is 'should'
We use it every day, but what does it actually mean?
If you use 'to have to' instead, I reckon it's a fair match for the verb 'deber' so the structure of 'I should have done it' becomes'I would have had to do it'

OK, it's not an exact match, but you can see how the structure changes from ending in a past participle to ending in an infinitive again, giving us 'Había debido hacerlo'

So, it's worth remembering, if you're struggling to say something in Spanish, think for a moment about what you actually mean in English and see if there's another way of saying it which translates more easily.

Don't forget your New Year's reolution, to practice your Spanish, and have fun doing it.
¡Hasta pronto!

What do you mean . . 'you couldn't do it'?

A simple enough phrase, 'You couldn't do it', but there are at least 12 different ways to say it in Spanish (16 if you're in Spain, not Latin America)

Let's start by looking at what the phrase actually means.
A common complaint, when people begin to speak Spanish is that the same word or phrase can mean different things, depending on the context.
Well, it's the same in English.

We'll start with the simple part, the word 'You'
There are four options here:
'Usted' - polite form of 'You' singular
'Tu' - familiar form of 'You' singular
'Ustedes' - plural of 'You'
'Vosotros' - plural of 'You', familiar form. Not used in Latin America

So, having determined who we are speaking to, now let's figure out what we're actually trying to say.
Is it 'You were not able to do it'
or 'You would not be able to do it' ?

Let's go for 'You were not able to do it'. Simple. Past tense.
Ah, but which one?
Is it Preterite, as in 'You were not able to catch the bus at 6 o'clock last night', or Imperfect, as in 'We played chess every night for a year, but you were not able to beat me'

OK, let's try the other option 'You would not be able to do it'
Is it 'You would not be able to do it, without my help': Conditional?
or 'I built a wall, in order that you would not be able to get in' : Past Subjunctive? ( following the construction 'para que')

Well, that gives us four (or three) different Persons and four different Tenses or Moods (Subjunctive isn't really a Tense)
Multiply them together, and you have 16 (or 12) different translations of an apparently simple English phrase.

Without wanting to complicate things, I'd best mention that there is another Past Subjunctive conjugation that you might see written but is rarely spoken, see the conjugation chart at the bottom of the page, which would actually bring our total up to 20! 

How about some examples?

'Usted no pudo hacer un pastel anoche' - You (formal) couldn't make a cake last night (Preterito. Single action in the past)

'Tu no podías hacer un pastel jamás' - You never could make a cake (Imperfecto. Action repeated in the past)

'Ustedes no podrían hacer un pastel sin mi ayuda' - You (plural) couldn't make a cake without my help (Condicional: Would not be able)

'Escondí el azúcar para que no pudierais hacer un pastel' - I hid the sugar so that You (familiar) couldn't make a cake (Pasado de Subjuntivo: following 'para que' : 'so that you would not be able')

So, the next time you're struggling to figure out exactly how to translate a phrase, in English, to Spanish, stop for a moment, and figure out exactly what it is you want to say in English, and it might help you get to the correct construction in Spanish.

See?
I knew you COULD do it, really.
¡Hasta pronto!

P.S. some conjugations for you.

Indicative

	Preterit	Imperfect	Conditional
tú	pudiste	podías	podrías
Usted.	pudo	podía	podría
vosotros	pudisteis	podíais	podríais
Ustedes.	pudieron	podían	podrían

Subjunctive

	Imperfect	Imperfect2
tú	pudieras	pudieses
Usted.	pudiera	pudiese
vosotros	pudierais	pudieseis
Ustedes.	pudieran	pudiesen

Speak to the Future - 1,000 Word challenge

Learning to speak Spanish, or French or Italian brings with it a certain advantage over learning, say Japanese, or Korean.
The advantage is vocabulary,
Thanks to the Romans, the Normans, and the Catholic church's  long affinity for Latin, many words in these languages share roots, or are virtually identical.

This will give you a big headstart if you decide to take up the 'Speak to the Future' 1,000 word challenge. (http://www.speaktothefuture.org/1000-words-challenge/)

As the site's creators put it

Not everyone will become a fluent linguist, but the aspiration for EVERYONE to have 1000 Words in another language is realistic and achievable.

They put forward a number of reasons why we lazy English speakers should take up the gauntlet, from improved Trade (& job) opportunities, to intellectual growth, to improving our reputation internationally.

But, how difficult would you find it to reach the 1,000 word target.
You might be surprised at how wide your vocabulary is, already.

Let's start with the word 'vocabulary'
In Spanish, it's 'vocabulario'
So, all we did was remove the 'y' and replace it with 'io'
I've heard some Brits on holiday, who obviously think that's all there is to Spanish, I shudder at the memory of 'I-o want-o a drink-o' ;¬p

But there are other words it works with.
Dictionary- diccionario (OK, the 'ct' becomes 'cc', but the sound is the same)
Commentary- comentario
Estuary- estuario
Salario- salario
Mortuary- mortuario
And the list goes on.

But wait, there's more
How about all the words, in English, ending in 'tion'
Easy, just replace it with 'ción'
So
Education - educcación
Organisation (organization in the U.S.)- organización
Realization - realización
And so on.

How about
legislation - legislación
and, from that
legislative -legislativo
leading on to
imperative - imperativo
punitive -punitivo
And there we have another case -
if an adjective ends in 'ive', change it for 'ivo' or 'iva' depending on the gender of the noun.

Finally, lets look at a short list from a large selection (selección - getting the hang of it?) of words which are spelt the same, just pronounced slightly differently.
Simple
Probable
Possible (OK. just one 'S' in Spanish)
Inevitable

All of a sudden, the 1,000 word target begins to look a little more achievable.
From the Speak to the Future website, you can click through to the Vocab Express site (https://www.vocabexpress.com/speaktothefuture/) where you can sigh up for a free account which will give you access to the list of the 'best' 1,000 first words to learn.
As the site is new, the lists aren't complete yet but, in the meantime, you can access a vocabulary list and online tests at GCSE level (that's the General Certificate of Secondary Education, if you live outside the UK)
Once the new lists become available, you can practice towards achieving an electronic certificate for your efforts.

Who knows, you might be inspired to try learning an additional language.
Meanwhile, spread the word and tweet about it #1000words

Finally, I found a great little link on the site, to  http://www.languagegames.org/ where you can play Word Search, HangMan and do Crosswords, in your chosen Language.

¡Hasta la próxima!

Goodbye Paralee, Hello Fluencia

You'll often see references in this Blog to www.spanishdict.com .
It's a site I use regularly, for the online dictionary, the translator, and the verb conjugation charts.
When I was beginning to speak Spanish, I also downloaded a whole series of videos from the site, recorded by an enthusiastic young teacher called Paralee Whitmire.
Now it look s as if SpanishDict have sacked poor Paralee, in favour of their new teaching venture, Fluencia (www.fluencia.com)
Don't worry if you're still working through Paralee's lessons, though. You can still find them at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL18DCAA11F203EE63

So, Fluencia. I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed that SpanishDict's free offering has been supplanted by a paid-for service, but I'm quite impressed with the quality of the content.
For $14.95 per month, reducing to $6.95 a month, if you sign up for two years, you have access to some high quality audio, recorded by Spanish speakers, with quite a wide selection of subjects, situations and vocabulary.
Even better, you can sign up for free and try a number of free lessons (I think it was fifteen, but I can't exactly remember)

The lessons generally start with a conversation, with the speech typed out in Spanish, to aid recognition.
The you follow on with a number of different exercises including:
Hear and see a new word, and type it yourself.
Pick the correct word from a selection of pictures, labelled in English.
See a picture, and the word in English, then type it in Spanish.
Create a sentence from jumbled words, to match a picture labelled in English.
Type what you hear, in Spanish.
Translate written English into Spanish.
Lessons will last 20-30 minutes.

My recommendation is that you sign up and try the trial lessons for yourself.
There are 5 levels of difficulty to choose from.
This kind of learning doesn't suit everyone, and lacks the verbal interaction, and practical construction of sentences found in, say the Pimsleur, or Michel Thomas courses, which are audio-based, but the use of illustrations can be a big help for some learners.

That does, however bring me to one of my two minor gripes. In one exercise, the adjective being taught was 'cómodo' - comfortable.
In the quiz, a picture of a reclining woman was shown, but the program accepted 'cómodo', even though it should have been 'cómoda'
Speaking of which, you don't lose marks for missing accents - whether that's a good or bad thing, you can decide for yourself.
On the other hand, the program is clever enough to accept verbs with or without pronouns e.g. 'soy de méxico' OR 'YO soy de méxico'

The only other gripe is that, just occasionally, the recording of the native-speaker appears to be missing, and is replaced by a rather robotic synthesised text-to-speech.

Finally, as you'd expect from a program priced in dollars, it seems to be aimed at South American Spanish.
I did not see any reference to the 'vosotros' form used in Spain, and the audio lacked the 'siseo', or lisping of the letter 'c' before vowels, as in Barcelona.

All in all, the amount of free content should give you more than enough experience to decide whether you want to pay for a subscription, and you can' really say fairer than that.

Día de los muertos in Second Life

If you've been following this blog for a while, you'll know that I take quite a lot of my lessons in Second Life, a 3D virtual world, but there's a lot more goes on there.

Apart from recently meeting and having an interesting hour chatting with a group of Spanish speakers 'Las Criaturas Salvajes', who hailed from both Europe and South America, from Lloret del Mar to Argentina, there is also cultural content to be found.

If you want to learn more about the Mexican traditions of 'El día de los muertos', there's an exhibition in Opera Joven, until the 15th of November.
Previous exhibitions have included the works of noted Mexican artist Frida Kahlo, and there's an upcoming exhibition around the Mexican Revolution, in the latter half of November.

If you want to find out more about Second Life, or just go direct to the site (you'll need a free SL account, and the browser installing on your PC),  go to 
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Opera%20Joven/58/239/23

If you missed the exhibition, or you just can't be bothered to go to SL, I did a walkthrough of the expo, opening all the information cards as I went, and uploaded it to YouTube.
Unfortunately, I had to upload it at double speed, to get it under the 15 minute limitation, but you can always pause it to view the details.

Enjoy.

Oh-oh. Avoiding Teletubby Spanish

Way back in October 2011 (I can't believe I've been writing this blog so long) I mentioned several instances where the rules of Spanish are 'bent' a little, to avoid dissonance, just to make it sound better. 

Examples included 'el agua' (when, as we know, 'agua' is a feminine noun) and 'diga SE lo a él', to avoid the 'lelo' combination of sounds. 
Well, here are a couple more cases, slightly different, where we substitute a vowel, to improve the flow and sound of the language. 

Consider the following sentence:
'I will travel to Wales and Ireland in summer or autumn'
Just think, for a moment, about how you would translate it into Spanish. 

Unless you already know what I'm talking about, you'd probably say something like
'Viajaré a Gales y Irlanda en verano o otoño'
At which point I interrupt with 'oh-oh' 
You reply 'What? What's wrong with that?' 
The answer is in the interruption. In Spanish the 'oh-oh' sound, found here in 'verano O Otoño' is not used. 

To avoid this combination of vowels, you replace the 'o' with a 'u', so it becomes 'verano u otoño' 
Don't believe me? 
Copy and paste the English sentence into the translator at www.spanishdict.com and see for yourself. 
Not all machine translations are accurate but, when I tried it, at least one of the suggested answers got it right. 

But, wait. If you've done that, you've probably noticed something else. 
What happened to the 'y' between 'Gales' and 'Irlanda'? 
It appears to have turned into an 'e'. 
So, not only are Spanish ears offended by the 'oh-oh' sound, but it appears that they don't much like 'ih-ih' either! 

So, there's the lesson. 
If 'y' , meaning 'and' is followed by a word beginning with 'i', it becomes an 'e' and if 'o', meaning 'or' is followed by a word beginning with 'o' it becomes a 'u'. 

Here's a couple more examples
'la sustitución se puede hacer con nombres E igualmente con adjetivos'
'The substitution can be done with nouns and, equally as well, with adjectives' (such as igualmente ;¬)

And, just to prove it can be done before verbs too, how about:
'Simon wanted to see or hear the group'
'Simon queria ver U oir al grupo'

You can make yourself a list of words beginning with 'o' or 'i', whether they be verbs, nouns or adjectives, and practise positioning them after 'o' and 'y', to get used to making the change.

So, let's say goodbye to Teletubby Spanish and sound even more fluent. 

¡Hasta la próxima! 

Parental Guidance - Adult Content!!

WARNING.
This post contains explicit language.
If you are easily offended, DON'T READ IT!

When I was at school, if you gave a 12yr-old an English-Spanish (or French, German, whatever) dictionary, the first thing he'd do would be to look up 'rude' words. Of course, the Collins Gem Dictionary didn't have the breadth and depth of some of today's electronic offerings, so most of the words tended to be anatomical terms.

However, it has to be admitted that, if you begin to watch foreign language TV and films, you will come across some of the more unsavoury words in your chosen language, just as you will if you watch 'The Godfather' or the TV series 'Deadwood' in English.

With this in mind, I finally decide to write this post, not for the titillation of any 12yr olds reading, but because the words exist, are in common usage, and crop up on Spanish and South American TV.

Well, I suppose I'd better start with the 'F' word.
It's one of the commonest expletives in the English language, and can be used in various ways:
1)To describe the act of sex.
2)As a deprecative adjective e.g. 'I hate this f*cking car!'
3)As an interjection, or a single expressive word, as with 'Shit!'
It works the same in Spanish, but there are a number of synonyms.

In case 1), you might hear 'Follar', 'Joder' or, in South America 'Chingar' or 'Coger'
A note here:
'Coger', in Spain, simply means 'to take'. That's it. There's no negative connotation at all, as there is in South America, where you would need to use 'recoger', or 'agarrar' to have the same meaning.

Case 2) Normally either 'pinche' or 'chingado/a' in South America, and 'jodido/a' in Spain.
Note: 'pinche' does not agree with the gender of the noun it refers to.
So 'tu pinche hermano ha follado mi pinche hermana'

The Mexican word chingar can be used in all three methods. There's a famous quote from a 1986 movie 'Blue Velvet', which goes 'F*ck you, you f*cking f*ck', which could be translated as 'Chinga te, chingado chingón', were it not for the fact that 'Chingon' is almost a compliment. It translates roughly as 'Bad-ass', with overtones of being a 'Player'

Case 3) 'Joder' is probably the commonest.
Another note: in Spain you will often hear what sounds like 'Jo'e' (pronounced howay). This is a milder form of 'Joder', and not regarded as so vulgar. If you've ever been to Ireland, and heard anyone talking about their "feckin' boss", you'll get the idea.
In a similar situation, you might also hear 'mierda' ='Shit' or even 'coño' ( a word more commonly used to describe the female reproductive organs)
If you've ever seen the film 'Havana Blues', however, you'll know that 'Coñooooo' can be used as a vulgar greeting.

So, speaking of reproductive organs, let's get the words for those out of the way.

Female:
As mentioned: 'Coño'
also 'panocha' and 'concha'
You'll probably know that 'concha' is the Spanish word for 'shell', but I recently found out that it's also a shortened form of the female name 'Concepción', so be careful what you call your daughters.

Male:
'Polla', 'Verga' although I personally find it rather odd that the male member is known by two feminine nouns.
Then, further down we have 'cojones', also known as 'huevos'
'Tener cojones' is often used to refer to someone having a lot of nerve, whereas 'no me toque los huevos' (literally 'don't touch my balls) means 'Don't piss me off', in the Canary Isles.

The word 'puta' is a contraction of 'prostituta' and is used in two very different, but common phrases.
'Hijo de puta', pretty much the equivalent of 'son of a bitch'
'De puta madre' which, believe it or not, is an extremely positive, or favourable description.
So '¿que tal tu coche nuevo?' - 'how's the new car?'
'Es de puta madre' - the closest expression I can find in English is 'it's the dog's bollocks!'

I'll finish with a few insults, which are pretty common.
'Gillipolas' - about on a par with 'tosser', although in South America 'Pajero' means 'wanker' (always makes me smile, when I'm walking the dogs, and I go past the house on the next street , where the owner parks his Mitsubishi Pajero 4x4)

'Cabron' - Bastard

'Pendejo' or 'Capullo' - Asshole

'Maricón' - Faggot (although I've heard this used to describe Drag Queens)
Again, in the Canaries, it's not  uncommon to hear 'hombrito' (little man) to question someone's masculinity.

Well, by no means an exhaustive list, but it should make some of the interjections common in films and TV a little clearer.

I wouldn't advise using them in conversation, as they vary greatly in perceived level of profanity, depending which country you're in, or which side of the Altantic you're on, and it's all too easy to 'Cagar y saltar en la caca'  (shit and then tread in it)

It's been a while ;-(

Those of you who caught my Tweet on the 26th will know that the European Day of Languages was celebrated on that day.
While looking around the Council of Europe page, I came across a competition, organised by an online learning, company, promoting their product, and offering a subscription as a prize.
Note: if you're reading this after midnight EST on Sept 30th, then you've missed the deadline.
However, you can still take a look at their site at http://www.gamesforlanguage.com/ and try out a couple of practice levels (In Spanish, French, Italian or German)
Their approach is quite different to traditional learning, and reminds me more of the Pimsleur learning system, where you are given blocks of words, which you put together to build sentences.
There's no verb conjugation as such and, right from the start, you will be hearing both present and past tense, in different persons.
What makes the product different is that the learning exercises are presented as games, featuring Memory Cards (I believe the technical name is Pelmanism ;¬), Shooting Gallery, Word Invaders, Snap Clouds, and one based on the Fairground game, where you have to inflate a balloon above a Clown Head, among others.
It's a novel approach, perhaps aimed at younger learners, but the sound samples are clearly recorded, and the game controls are easy to operate.
It's certainly worth having a free look, and subscriptions are available from 1 month, so you're not immediately committing to a full year's payment. You can even get a free month by simply clicking the link on the site, to recommend it to a friend.

A quick note here, for UK readers, who have access to the Sky Arts TV channel. There's a new series called Isabel, based on the life of Queen Isabel I of Spain. Not surprisingly it's in Spanish, but does have English subtitles. I've just watched the first episode, which was an hour and a half long.
It looks very promising but, be warned, it contains adult scenes and some nudity. However, if you're missing your weekly fix of the, now sadly finished, 'Borgias', this could be right up your street.

And finally, I read recently that Spanish has only half the active vocabulary, in terms of the number of words used, as English. This might sound like a great plus for learners but, don't forget, using different verbs and even use of different word order, can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
A few examples:

Estoy listo - I'm ready
Soy listo - I'm clever

Estoy aburrido - I'm bored
Soy aburrido - I'm boring

Es un hombre grande - He's a big man
Es un gran hombre - He's a great man.

Oops! one more thing.
As part of my homework I've been watching a Colombian TV show called 'Correo de inocentes' which is about how people unwittingly become caught up in the Drug-trafficking business.
In it, one of the characters refers to the drug 'mules' as 'Golondrinas', which is the name of a migratory bird, known in English as the swallow.
How coincidental, then, that the 'Golondrinas' preferred method of concealing drugs is to 'swallow' them (wrapped up in a protective coating).
So 'las Golondrinas tragan las drogas' - 'the swallows swallow the drugs' - it just struck me as an amusing coincidence :-)

If you want to have a go at watching the series, you can find it at http://www.elcarteltv.biz/uk/novela_correo_de_inocentes.html
Most of the actors speak quite clearly, but one or two, especially the character of Cosme, the drug baron, mumble a little or, as my Profesora says, 'hablan entre dientes'.

Just a tip here, if you watch the videos in Firefox, and you have FVD (Fast Video Download) plugin installed, you can just select to download the 'ustream' file, and avoid the adverts, which otherwise interrupt the viewing periodically.

Well, that's me caught up, and I'll try not to leave it quite so long before the next post.
Hope you're still enjoying your Spanish learning.